Adam’s funeral was today.
I wrote this post not long ago about Adam and his cancer. After 5 long, brave years, Adam passed away in his home with his wife and family with him. Today was his tribute.
The circle of people who loved Adam spoke with love and a calmness that must have belied their emotions. I heard his mother, my friend Renee, read a letter she had composed to him that contained a collage of adjectives that beautifully, word by word, described her beautiful son. I heard his father, my dear David, speak of how proud he was, not only of Adam’s bravery in facing his diagnoses, but in how, even to his last day, Adam sought to be certain his wife would be cared for. I heard his brother give that highest possible praise to a sibling: he was my friend. I heard his father-in-law describe Adam’s integrity and wit and wisdom. And I heard his pastors tell of Adam’s strength, and character, and devotion to his family, and one said: “Because of Adam, I am a better husband, a better father, and a better friend.”
I already loved this boy-man. He was 6 years old when I met him, and he and his little brother Aaron, and my boys played countless hours of Lego’s and K’nex. He was a funny, cute, sensitive little kid, who grew into a huge, lovable, kind, witty man. His passions, besides the obvious one of his sweet wife, were music, board games, and video games. But if I didn’t love him before today, I would have after this service.
Every song sung, and every word said illuminated the far-too-short life of this remarkable young man. When we lose someone like Adam, we suffer a personal hurt and pain for the loss of this person so important to us. In Adam’s case, the pain goes deeper, because it feels like the whole world has lost him, and that we’re poorer for it. But those of us who knew and loved Adam consider ourselves so very fortunate, even in the pain, and each memory is truly precious.
There are two things I think one hopes for at a funeral or memorial service. One is for the family to be comforted. The other is to show the person for who he was: strengths, weaknesses, humor, passion, history, all of it. This lovely service for this lovely man succeeded at both.