Don’t be hatin.

But if you don’t want to read a post about dog poop, click away.  Ok, forewarned.

On my hippie farm, with my cows and goats and chickens, I have the most delicious compost pile.  Cow manure, chicken manure, goat manure, hardwood leaves, kitchen scraps, coffee grounds – it makes the most rich, earthy, healthy soil you’ve ever seen.  I’ve got a dual operation going:

High tech.
High tech.
Inside the drum
Inside the drum
Did you notice his goofy, happy compost face?
Did you notice his derpy, happy compost face?

But I also have dogs, and if you read my last post, you know I’ve added to the canine contingency.  And 4 dogs generate lots of poo.

In an effort to figure out what to do with the abundance of dog waste that accumulates in the yard (I have 8 acres, but who’s gonna walk more than 20 feet outside in the rain?  Not my guys!), I did a little Shit Research.  I won’t go into all the science, but the poop of herbivores vs the poop of omnivores vs the poop of carnivores has to do with amounts of nitrogen, enzymes, bacteria, and parasites.  The short version is that dog waste can’t be composted with other kitchen and farm waste (and neither, therefore, can human waste – a post for another day).

Just to be sure, I contacted my go-to science guy (Sam, if you didn’t know), and he confirmed what my research showed.  So it was out of the question to put the poop in the big compost pile.  But I still had a poop pile problem in the yard.

I googled that shit and found a variety of commercial set-ups to deal with this issue, but they were all extremely low in complexity and high in cost.  I’m bright, I’m capable, I’ve got power tools – I can do this!

My Family Dollar $10 trash can.
My Family Dollar $10 trash can.
First, dig a hole.
First, dig a hole.
Fortunately, my hired hand is very into me, and showed up to finish the digging job.
Fortunately, my hired hand is very into me, and showed up to finish the digging job.
Next, cut off the bottom of the trash can.
Next, cut off the bottom of the trash can.
Drill a bunch of small holes, but be sure the holes are below the level that will be above the ground.
Drill a bunch of small holes, but be sure the holes are below the level that will be above the ground.
Now sink that bad boy up to the brim!
Now sink that bad boy up to the brim!
a layer of gravel in the bottom first...
a layer of gravel in the bottom first…
...then a layer of sawdust, which I just happen to have for my baby chicks!
…then a layer of sawdust, which I just happen to have for my baby chicks!
Now all I need is some dog poo...
Now all I need is some dog poo…
Where o where will I find some dog poo?
Where oh where will I find some dog poo?
Let's not name names, but there ya go.
Let’s not name names, but there ya go.
Eventually I'll add a little of this, but I'll wait until there's a little more...accumulation...and after it rains.
Eventually I’ll add a little of this, but I’ll wait until there’s a little more…accumulation…and after it rains.
Here it is in the yard - I still have to move the dirt pile, but the only thing you see is the lid, and it's at the edge of the yard.
Here it is – I still have to move the dirt pile, but the only thing you see is the lid, and it’s at the edge of the yard.  See the slack line?  I suck at it.

Doggie Dooley is already trademarked, as is Tidy Paws.  I’m thinking Doggie Dumper?  Doggie Doo-Be-Gone?  Poopmaster?

I think I’ll tag this post Cottage Living.  I don’t have a Waste Products tag.  Yet.  I think I’m going to draw the line at a pit latrine.

Thanks for reading!

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