Happy. Healthy. Heathen.

Why I can’t just STFU

This post is not about why I think it’s irrational to believe in the supernatural.

This post is not (wholly) about my journey from faith to reason.

This post is about why I believe that religions are not a force for good in the world. A great number of my believing friends, when hearing I have cast aside my former belief, question why I’m an activist about this. Why not just let others have their faith, the comfort it brings them, the good the church does? Why can’t I just keep my views to myself – why upset others by being public about my position? It’s a valid question.

I have two primary reasons for expressing visibly and vocally my decision and desire to live a life based on reason and rationality. The first one is more personal, the second is more important.

I spent 45 years in the faith, fervently and earnestly trying to follow its precepts, understand its directives, and doing my part to establish a relationship with God through the sacrifice of Jesus. Many sermons outlined the elements of a dynamic faith: prayer, bible study, fellowship with other believers, evangelism of the lost, financial support to my church. I did all of these things consistently and passionately. The struggle I had with inconsistencies, contradictions, illogic, and disagreements, I buried/twisted/denied/justified/explained. When I finally admitted to myself that I could no longer support believing in this theology, as I wrote in my “Coming Out Blog”, I felt a sense of freedom, euphoria, and relief that has not dissipated; I feel that now as I write, and every moment of every day.

I recently attended the American Atheist Convention in Des Moines, Iowa. While on a bathroom break, as we were washing our hands and looking in the mirror, another conference attendee remarked “You know, every time I’ve seen you, you are smiling!”. I explained that I didn’t even realize it, but that I was just so happy to be on THIS side of the argument. I commented that I have issues like everyone else, a serious health concern, dramatic family issues, constant stress from law school, and that the joy and happiness I find in life has never been more profound.

I can say that my first reason for wanting to be public with my life’s philosophy, believers, is the same reason you do. I DO want you to know what it feels like to live like this, the freedom and confidence I find in living an evidence-based life. So while a billboard announcing that may be offensive to you, try to align it with YOUR evangelistic efforts, and I hope you will find the fairness in the drive. I support your right to believe what you want, and I support your right to want to tell other people about what those beliefs mean to you.

The second reason I’m “out” (from which I’m going to soon drop the quotation marks) is far more noble and important to the health of our country. I’ve used the singular Reason, when in fact it should probably be Reasons, and while they are multiple, they all fall under the title: Why Gayle Can’t STFU. Each topic should have a post all its own, but in the interest of brevity, I’ll try to just write one disclaimer statement.

Religion:

Subverts critical thinking skills – I think when we teach our children (and adults) to simply shrug their shoulders when addressing enormously important questions, we teach them not to explore further, question deeper, research broader, and we lose far more than we realize.

Represses women – It is astonishing to me that even the most progressive of christian churches would restrict a woman’s right to serve the faith itself. The idea of that affected my daughters profoundly and irreversibly when they were seeking what they thought was God’s will at the time. Your may feel that the version of the faith you hold does not do this, but your support of the whole does.

Endorses fundamental version of same book – many of my believer friends are the groovy, lovey, progressive types, and if this were the only version of christianity there was, I wouldn’t care so much about countering with visibility of my own. It is not, and their version endorses a book which can be interpreted as a fundamentalist document, with more repression, more subversion, and more danger.

Encourages belief without evidence – To my believing friends who acknowledge they are not building their beliefs on science, but simply on faith, I ask: “Why is it noble and good to believe something for which there is no evidence?” It is not acceptable in a laboratory, not acceptable in a classroom, not acceptable in a courtroom, and not acceptable in life.

It substitutes an artificial morality, based on an ancient text, for a genuine one, based on true compassion – I think even believers would agree that in 5 minutes’ time, we could improve upon the Ten Commandments…maybe include one about keeping your hands off of children, not beating your wife, working toward social justice in your community, restoring the environment, all based on a desire to decrease suffering, not on rule-following for rule-following’s sake.

It validates a judgmental system where certain groups (LGBT) are discriminated against for what it calls a sin, and interferes with loving families adopting and raising children – There is so much real suffering in our world, and much that we have the ability to alleviate, that any energy spent toward fighting against people who love each other getting married, having or adopting children, and raising those children with values and ethics and compassion, is a waste of time at the least, and destructive and hateful at the most.

It implements a hatred of self and body – the idea that we are born sinful and without worth is destructive and counter-productive to our becoming useful, functioning citizens in our society, and exacts a toll on its believers insidious in its scope and range.

It minimizes the very real problems of environmental issues, hunger, poverty, disease because of the belief in the more important afterlife – I remember as a believer hearing repeatedly that the most important thing we could do for people who were dying of hunger and disease was to pray for their salvation; more important than financially supporting relief efforts, more important than working to resolve those problems, more important than dedicating personal efforts in our own communities to affect those issues.

It endorses bad science by insisting on ignoring any evidence in conflict with its teachings – the battle in our public schools over the teaching of creationism vs evolution is exquisite in its audacity. The scientific community is overwhelming in its acceptance of the evidence for evolution, and anything less is a violation of the trust our children are putting in us, and shows either a lack of academic honesty, or an irresponsible denial of reality.

It squanders its members time/creativity/money/compassion by directing it toward evangelism to the exclusion of actual social justice – I would not dispute that there have been good works done in the name of religion. But I don’t think that religion is necessary for those good works to be done, with no loss of time/effort/creativity/money/compassion spent in the evangelizing of the people served, and the suffering alleviated.

There was a debate on this topic not too long ago between Christopher Hitchens and Tony Blair, and he does a much better job than I in describing why I believe what I believe, and is worth the 90 minute investment to watch, believer or atheist.

When I was a believer, the faith community applauded my outspoken proclamation of my beliefs. You admired me for taking a stand for what I believed in, whether it was popular or not. You appreciated my willingness to take on whatever resistance I faced when I made these claims, and you did all these things on the premise that I had a moral and ethical responsibility to do so. I ask you to continue to do that.

So while the southern girl in me is inclined to apologize for offending you, the humanist in me refuses, because far more is at stake than your feelings. I am a patriot, I am a moral person, and it is very important to me to actively participate in our country’s social and political processes. It is a question to me of intellectual integrity, and I find I can do no less.

Thanks for reading.

May 2, 2011 10

Very long overdue

I know, I know, I know.

I’ve been completely neglectful of my wonderful list. I assure you that I’ve only neglected blogging about it, not dreaming about it. It has transitioned from the 50 things to do in my 50th year to my straight-up Bucket List. I have a hard copy of it too, that I keep in my planner and I’ll occasionally make a note or two. The original list and notes are in italics – every time I publish it I try to add commentary on what I’ve done.

In order to celebrate managing to stay alive, happy, and healthy to my 50th, I am going to try 50 new things this year. Some are huge (hike the Great Wall of China). Some are tiny (drink a lime gimlet). All are things I have never before done. And in that same spirit of celebration, my friends and family will be participating with me.

I’ve had a few more suggestions since my last blog, and those will be reflected in the list. I’ve decided to be a little less OCD, and a little more organic in the list. I’m not going to preemptively remove anything from the list; there will be more than 50 things. In my daily life, as I always do, I will seek out new and exciting experiences, and may very well add something to the list spontaneously, maybe even after I’ve done it. I will attempt to do all, but my primary goal will be to accomplish 50 New Things.

You all have been so enthusiastic and free-spirited about all this; thanks for the suggestions and the WILLINGNESS to do them with me!

1. Streak through Publix – Dora (You are SOOO on the hook for this – still)

2. Do a Bob Ross painting – Glenda (Maybe after finals?)

3. Drink a lime gimlet – Sam M (Got this one done – Hendrix gin, Rose’s Lime Juice, shaken and served by an actual Englishman – P-E-R-F-E-C-T-I-O-N!)

4. Fire-hoop – Glenda (Not yet – need a little more practice)

5. Color my hair pink/blue/something for a race – Glenda/Amy (for the Ohio Iron in September)

6. Go to the Superbowl

7. Scuba-dive Cayman or Honduras or Bahamas – Fran (maybe in conjunction with our Key West swim?)

8. Write a song – Beth

9. Hike a 14-er in Colorado – Ben (climbed Torrey’s Peak and Gray’s peak – 2 14’ers in the Front Range with my boy)

10. Write a children’s book – Kristen

11. Be in a live audience for a TV show – Kristen

12. Eat crumb cake at Carlos’ Bakery in NYC – Kristen

13. Horseback riding on the beach – Kristen

14. Go parasailing – Kristen

15. Go bungy-jumping

16. Big-ass rubber band thingy – Mandi

17. Run 50 miles – Vic (less and less likely with each passing day – and it wasn’t probable to begin with!)

18. Attend Loy Krathong, the sky lantern festival in Thailand – Vic

19. Hike the Great Wall of China – Vic

20. Swim in the largest swimming pool in the world, in Chile – Vic

21. See sea turtles hatch and head for the ocean – Vic

22. Go sky diving – Phil

23. Learn to play pinochle, mah jongg, canasta or gin

24. Eat gefilte fish with horseradish

25. Dress like a man and go with a man to a straight bar and a gay bar (They don’t know it yet, but I’m going to do this with Chris and Bryson when they turn 21)

26. Have a colonoscopy – mom

27. Get a tattoo – Amy (Done!)

28. Go to South Beach, Miami

29. Attend lighting of candles in Jerusalem

30. Take ballroom dance lessons – Tonya

31. Meet the President

32. Do nothing for one day: no work, no workouts, no computer, no phone, no TV

33. Go on a photo safari

34. Visit all the continents

35. Panhandle on a corner

36. Ride the TransCanadian Railway

37. Drink Paddle of Destiny at Mellow Mushroom – Susan (I’ve done this at least 3 times, but never with my girl Susan, so it stays on the to-do list!)

38. Renew marriage vows – Mike

39. Finish an Ironman – me (woooohooooo!!! October 23, 2010!!)

40. Climb a redwood tree – Amy

41. Hike the Adirondacks – Becky

42. Learn to swordfight – Ted (I know Ted, my bad – I will do this!)

43. Drive a race car – Ted

44. Hike the AT – Ted

45. Take a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class – Shannon

46. Kayak the Gauley – Sam

47. Do a road trip – Brianna

48. Swim with dolphins – Brianna

49. Full moon party in Koh phangan, Thailand – Lila

50. Visit Iguazu Falls in Argentina – Lila

51. Go dog sledding in Alaska – Lila

52. Become a licensed minister and marry someone – Lila (OK, girlie, I’ve done the become-a-licensed-minister part – just gotta find someone who is disrespectful enough of the institution to allow me to do it!!)

53. Swim with sharks – Lila

54. Jump off of a waterfall – Lila

55. Watch Dr. Zhivago (how did I miss that?)

56. Memorize Pi to 50 places (3.1415926535 – that’s as far as I can do from memory)

57. Go see the Formula 1 race in Monaco – Brother Eric

58. Sit through an entire episode of: O’Reilly/Beck/Colter/Limbaugh – Brother Eric (you have no idea how hard this will be!)

59. Make Bananas Foster

60. See the Tour de France in person, not just on Versus at 2:00 in the morning!

61. Place a $1000 bet on one hand of blackjack – Brother Eric

I’d like to add here

#62. Ride my bike around Cade’s Cove in the moonlight. Done.

So there it is. My achievement ratio is disappointingly low. BUT – remember the disclaimer. If I don’t get it accomplished this year, it rolls right onto the Life Bucket List. And the ratio doesn’t take into account things I have done, since May, for the first time that DIDN’T make the list. Like bat wrangling in England. And trying to catch a longhorn. And manually expressing my dogs’ anal glands. Oh yeah. Just couldn’t bring myself to blog about that one.

So that’s the update as of April of 2011. I’m going to Florida with brother for a few days next week. I’ll try to get one of those TV shows watched while I’m there, and maybe make the Bananas Foster.

If you have another thought, comment away! Just remember the rule – if you suggest it, you’ll be asked to do it with me – that’s the dealio!

Thanks for reading!

April 27, 2011 7

Eating babies, pt 3.

Every convention has its socializing element. Every convention gives its attendees free time to talk and discuss and argue and laugh. When the convention is an atheist convention, when its attendees are inherently thinkers and talkers, and have a deep appreciation of the joy and value of each moment, the socializing element should not be minimized.

Hence you have day 2 being recapped on day 3. It was my intention to post at the end of each day, but the day didn’t end, again, until the wee morning hours, so here we go.

What a breath of fresh air to begin the morning’s session with Jamila Bey. Jamila (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgdfHVwK884) gave us her experience of atheism in the African-American community (I know, Jamila, there is no ONE African-American experience!) with passion and clarity. The social importance of the religious network in anyone’s life is not to be minimized; in the African-American woman’s life, it’s almost paramount. Jamila seems to be made entirely of self-confidence and humor, but she has faced her share of resistance and criticism from the people she loves the most.

Jamila’s talk was followed by a diversity panel that was enlightening and informative. The atheist movement by its nature is broad and inclusive, so when we have a diversity panel, we have a diversity panel! It was interesting to hear perspective from other ethnicities and cultures.

We heard from comedian Paul Provenza, reading from his book “Satiristas”, and from Troy Conrad again, who was a scream. Irreverent, thought-provoking, and interactive, both of these guys are worth Youtubing.

Then came the big guns. PZ Myers (http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/) spoke to us about what else? SCIENCE.

We heard from Professor Hector Avalos, who is a Religious Studies professor at Iowa State University. If you’ve seen the movie “Expelled” by Ben Stein, you’ll be familiar with his subject.

Finally, on Saturday we heard from two psychiatrists with the Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason and Science. They shared with us the physiological and psychological effects of religious thinking and freethought.

Sunday started with JT Eberhard from the Secular Student Alliance giving us a report of student organizations and their phenomenal, exponential growth. JT is such a voice for inspiration and motivation in the movement, and it’s my hope to have him visit the MTSU campus when we get the SSA going there.

Next was Lawrence Krauss, a quantum physicist who gave us little talk about Richard Feynman and his work. We heard also from Matt Dillahunty, who hosts the podcast for the Austin Community of Atheists. I got to join him for a meal or two, and found a little connection – his fiance is the former leader of the secular group at ETSU, and we chatted a bit about the student group there.

Finally, after an international symposium regarding the atheist movement, we listened to a military panel tell about the environment in the services for atheists. I will leave to your imagination what their responses were.

There’s a basic outline of what we did – I’ll try to blog in more detail about specific speeches and conversations I had with other attendees. Tonight’s agenda includes more debate and beer, not necessarily in that order.

Thanks for reading!

April 24, 2011 8

Eating babies, pt 2

Christopher Hitchens was to have been a speaker at the American Atheists’ convention, but his health would not allow it. He sent the following letter:

Dear fellow-unbelievers,

Nothing would have kept me from joining you except the loss of my voice (at least my speaking voice) which in turn is due to a long argument I am currently having with the specter of death. Nobody ever wins this argument, though there are some solid points to be made while the discussion goes on. I have found, as the enemy becomes more familiar, that all the special pleading for salvation, redemption and supernatural deliverance appears even more hollow and artificial to me than it did before. I hope to help defend and pass on the lessons of this for many years to come, but for now I have found my trust better placed in two things: the skill and principle of advanced medical science, and the comradeship of innumerable friends and family, all of them immune to the false consolations of religion. It is these forces among others which will speed the day when humanity emancipates itself from the mind-forged manacles of servility and superstitition. It is our innate solidarity, and not some despotism of the sky, which is the source of our morality and our sense of decency.

That essential sense of decency is outraged every day. Our theocratic enemy is in plain view. Protean in form, it extends from the overt menace of nuclear-armed mullahs to the insidious campaigns to have stultifying pseudo-science taught in American schools. But in the past few years, there have been heartening signs of a genuine and spontaneous resistance to this sinister nonsense: a resistance which repudiates the right of bullies and tyrants to make the absurd claim that they have god on their side. To have had a small part in this resistance has been the greatest honor of my lifetime: the pattern and original of all dictatorship is the surrender of reason to absolutism and the abandonment of critical, objective inquiry. The cheap name for this lethal delusion is religion, and we must learn new ways of combating it in the public sphere, just as we have learned to free ourselves of it in private.

Our weapons are the ironic mind against the literal: the open mind against the credulous; the courageous pursuit of truth against the fearful and abject forces who would set limits to investigation (and who stupidly claim that we already have all the truth we need). Perhaps above all, we affirm life over the cults of death and human sacrifice and are afraid, not of inevitable death, but rather of a human life that is cramped and distorted by the pathetic need to offer mindless adulation, or the dismal belief that the laws of nature respond to wailings and incantations.

As the heirs of a secular revolution, American atheists have a special responsibility to defend and uphold the Constitution that patrols the boundary between Church and State. This, too, is an honor and a privilege. Believe me when I say that I am present with you, even if not corporeally (and only metaphorically in spirit…) Resolve to build up Mr Jefferson’s wall of separation. And don’t keep the faith.

Sincerely

Christopher Hitchens

Another great day at the convention – more posts to follow!

GJ

April 23, 2011 0

Eating babies, pt. 1

What do you do at an atheist conference?

Well, I’m finding out. Technically, this is Day 2. Last night was an informal fundraising dinner where I got to meet and speak with a few of the presenters, but it was mostly social.

Matt Dillahunty (Greta behind me) and me and the Thursday night dinner

Today began bright and early at the Embassy Suites in Des Moines, Iowa with the welcome by the mayor of the city. That was immediately followed by the welcome by the president of American Atheists. He was interviewed by Bill O’Reilly last year when billboard were put up in various cities. In his opening speech, he took us through a series of statements beginning with “Consider an America….”

“…where judges can make decisions without fear of being removed from the bench.” “…where science can be taught in schools by teachers without the threat of being fired.” “…where loving families can adopt and raise children as they wish.” “…where our government begins its sessions with ‘Let’s get to work!'” “….where women can make decisions about their own bodies.”

Our first speaker was Jeff Sharlett, the author of “C Street” and “The Family”, the secret religious organization in Washington that has housed and sheltered a number of Republican scandal-makers, including up to this morning, John Ensign. He was fascinating in his report about his experience with this group, and it is an incredibly important read, no matter your politics. I’ll buy the Kindle version of his books and I promise I’ll blog about them afterward, but I recommend them even before I read them. http://jeffsharlet.com/

Next we heard from Edwin Kagin, who is my new hero. He’s the legal representation of American Atheists, and handles most of the litigation. He highlighted two recent cases: in Utah, the fallen officers’ memorial case – where crosses are erected in their honor, whether or not they were believers. That case was resolved at the state supreme court in AA’s favor. The second case involved the Kentucky Homeland Security statement that says that: “…the security of the country…cannot be assured without a belief in Almighty God”. The state attorney general ruled that case unconstitutional as well. Mr. Kagin is charming and articulate – he’s from the area in Kentucky where my mother’s family is from, and his accent was familiar and endearing. http://www.edwinkagin.com/ Click on the link just to read the lovely tribute he wrote to his precious wife he lost last February.

Following Mr. Kagin is one of my favorite bloggers, if not my favorite, Greta Christina. She presented a talk on Atheists and Anger (http://gretachristina.typepad.com/greta_christinas_weblog/2007/10/atheists-and-an.html) which was magnificent. This blog entry is pretty close to the speech she gave, and she was wonderful. (A little disclaimer: Greta’s blog is not only an atheist blog, it is also a porn blog, so heads up). On the first night, I even got the chance to chat with her a bit. I first found her blog as a trainer, as she shares her own journey to reclaim her health (just search for her entries on weight management/fitness).

We had a little comedy routine by Troy Conrad, who did a great George Bush bit, then heard from another attorney, Eddie Tabash who is also a debater. Our final speaker was Matthew Chapman. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbwFB6tr2y4). He is a great-great-great-grandson of Charles Darwin, and is a filmmaker and author. He has made a film, The Ledge, with Liv Tyler, that has been accepted at the 2011 Sundance film festival. We got to have our own, private screening before its June release! It was incredibly powerful and profoundly moving. It’s a thriller/drama and I won’t spoil it, but you should go see this film.

I’m learning that this group is rowdy and bawdy and snarky and FUNNY. I’ve enjoyed meeting some very interesting people, and if it were not after 1 in the morning, I would tell you more about them. We had a costume party tonight that was a scream!

can’t quite see Greta’s GREAT steampunk costume!

me and PZ Myers, one of my academic rockstars

I plan to blog again tomorrow night (but tomorrow night is the pub crawl, so I’m not promising) and try to post some pics.

Here’s to 4-5 hours of sleep…

Thanks for reading!

April 23, 2011 1

TED talk, birthday, hayride

I can go 2 weeks without posting, then have a weekend like this where I want to post about EVERYTHING!

I’ll try to write in sequence, but no assurances. The girls rolled in Friday night: Glenda, squeeze Sam, and BF Rachel in the minivan from Knoxville, and not 5 minutes later Amy from Johnson City. It’s lame, I know, but they take my breath away every time I see them. They’re so happy and healthy and I just can’t wait for them to walk in the door! I’d fixed veggie lasagna and cheese bread and birthday cake and dessert – that’s what I do when the kids are coming home – gives me something to do with my time while I check the clock every 3 and a half minutes, and it’s such a mom/nurture thing. We talked nonstop til we collapsed around midnight.

Early Saturday Amy and I got up and headed to Nashville for the Ted talk at TPAC. O. M. G. When I win the lottery, I’m going to be an international Ted groupie. (www.Ted.com). It was a TedX event – all local presenters, from 10am to 6pm, 18 minutes each, and I could feel the smart wash over me with each subsequent speaker. I’ve kept the program so I can remember the details of each one. There were musicians, 2 rocket scientists, a docent from Fisk, an entreprenuer, and dancer, a neurosurgeon, an orchestra, and even Ashley Judd. Each one was fabulous. Amy and I both had our favorites; the day passed in a flash and I will unequivocally say that I’ve never had such a great $50 8-hour day. Ever.

This panel was created as each speaker presented - fascinating

Then home we dashed just in time for the girls’ 22nd birthday. They threw down with their Murfreesboro posse, with an old school hayride/treasure hunt/bonfire – it was crazy fun.

Google "Bang This" twins, Nashville, TN for the joke

Aden and buddy Alden did the honors of following the map and helping Big Jesse steer toward the treasure (one of which was suspended from the zipline over the pond).

There was hooping and music and food and most of all friends, and didn’t end until the wee hours, long after I had given up and fell asleep listening to them talk and laugh around the fire.

Aden singing Happy Birthday to Aunt Glenda and Aunt Amy

I know it’s cliche, but I can’t believe it’s been 22 years since the three of us partied like rock stars in a North Carolina hospital!

Sunday morning took us to Starbucks with our secular group where Sam Miller shared his experience with Quakerism. We had a good crowd – (forgot the camera) and stayed until it was lunchtime. We try to meet and chat about once a month – refreshing and challenging every time.

Then, as always, the time came on Sunday afternoon for them to head back to their campuses and lives.

It was a fabulous 40-something hours. I even suspended studying for the weekend (and had a 12-hour day today!) to be able to enjoy them with no distraction. In 3 weeks, they’ll officially be college seniors.

I love you girls – thanks for bringing the party 22 years ago!!

Thanks for reading!

April 11, 2011 3

Out again…in a different way

I am so excited to get to publish this post. I’ve been working on this for 3 months and it’s finally time.

I’m in law school. Even typing that phrase excites me. I am 3 months into a 4-year, online law degree program. It’s based in California, and while not ABA-accredited, California allows sitting for the Bar at the conclusion of the program, with full licensure upon passing.

I wanted to give myself the time and opportunity to see if I was going to 1) like the program 2) be able to handle the course load and 3) be certain that it was a quality educational process. I am happy to report an enthusiastic yes to all 3 questions!

But I also wanted to be able to blog about this undertaking as it is happening, so I’m going to create this post, save it as a draft, and add to it through the weeks until I publish it.

1.11.11 Conclusion of first week of school. Overall impression: I LOVE IT. I love the academic challenge, I love the OCD nature of the daily schedule, I even love the endless, tedious case reading. The pace is reasonable – the suggested commitment is about 4 hours a day, and I find that pretty close to accurate. The program is self-paced, and includes reading, lectures, online interactive classes, and quizzes. I experienced a pretty big learning curve this first week.

Most of my undergraduate studies (back in ye olden day) required taking in information, committing it to memory, and repeating it back in the form of a test or paper. Law school, not so much. The first quiz I took: 30%. Exsqueeze me? 30%? I don’t even know where 30% lives! Rattled me a bit. In this program, if you don’t receive a 70% or greater on the quiz, you must take a makeup quiz. With a quaking finger, I clicked on Submit, and got my instant results of…100%. I am harboring no illusion that I have this figured out, but it helped to restore my confidence.

1.17.11 Week 2. What I have found is the operative word in studying law is the word “reasonable”. It is part of many tests of application, so to speak. It’s such a subjective term in an objective study, it makes me smile every time I read it. We are such a diverse and different society, the reasonable person test is humorous. In my household alone, the response to the “Would-a-reasonable-person-find-that…” could be different the 6 times you asked it! Musings on week 2…

1.23.11. Week 3. Today’s topic is addressing the portability of this program. It is probably the drawing feature of Concord Law. It is so exciting to log on to the live classes, and see the other students’ locations: Spain, Japan, Indonesia, many US states, several from Tennessee. We have traditional reading assignments, online lectures, real-time virtual classes, quizzes, exams – and 90% of these are on our own timing. I can do them anytime/anywhere. What I’m finding, however, is that I’m most comfortable sitting right at my dining room table where all my notebooks and books are laid out! I’m currently out in Colorado skiing with my sons, and I brought some of my studies with me. I find myself reaching for my books and highlighters and supplies that I DIDN’T bring…gotta work on that one.

2.7.11 I think this is about week 5. Today’s topic: punishment. Who knew? Even as a parent and being familiar with the purpose/reasoning of punishment (current hip lingo for parents instead of punishment: discipline. It’s a prettier word). Reading and studying about the theory and history of punishment – the concept, the application, the purpose (punitive? rehabilitative? deterrent?) – it’s just fascinating. It requires so much more insight into the human psyche and social mores than it appears we give it in our penal system. I tried finding a TED talk about punishment (my go-to source for think-tank material) but no luck; I hope and expect to go into it more deeply somewhere along the course of study. So short answer for this week’s musings: I just love this. I love being given something new to think about, something to learn, something to question. Oh, and another quiz…90%. But don’t get cocky.

2.13.11 I’ve lost track of week numbers – I just know I’m on module 5. 4 subjects, one new module per each every 11 days…which bring us today’s subject. It goes without saying (but I’ll say it) that time management HAS to be a skill you bring with you to law school. I don’t struggle too much with this – I raised a large, busy family, I know the value of time, I’m mildly OCD about my schedule, so this challenge hasn’t been too large. What I am finding, however, is that equally as important as time management in this endeavor is information management. Books and books of info, cases, reading, lectures – all have to be condensed/assimilated/edited into a reasonable pile o’ crap to study and learn. There are tricks and techniques that I’m learning, but I find myself once again barely hanging on the wheel on a huge learning curve. I had a bit of a Helen-Keller at-the-well moment this week on figuring out how to do this – it involves colored pens, highlighters, font sizes, and Roman Numerals. That’s enough sharing for now.

2.21.11 Studying Crimes of Omission in Criminal Law: do you have a duty to act? Do you have a duty to save your child from drowning in a pool? Good answer. What if it’s your niece? Another good answer. What if it’s a stranger’s child? What if you can’t swim? What if it’s your sworn enemy? Where’s the line? Is it a legal duty or a moral duty? Every time I feel like I’m on solid footing I get thrown another curve – good thing I like curves. I like the whole cerebral challenge, I like the discovery and argument process, and I even like the gray area where these issues inevitably reside. What I’m learning about the law is that It Is Always The Way It Is. Unless It’s Not.

3.5.11 Topic of the day: In law school, which is the bigger advantage – Youth and Enthusiasm or Experience and Maturity? I’ve been watching my fellow classmates and I see their Facebook statuses and their answers during class and their comments when we do group study and I’m going to say that right now the jury’s still out (see what I did with that?). I can see that some of the time the younger students (<35) have ideas and vigor and I really appreciate their drive and openmindedness. I can see that we, the older crowd, have such a broader approach to the workload and time management, and we’re more patient (mostly…a week to grade my essay?? WTF?) and less flexible in accepting new concepts. I love watching the whole group interact, however; especially our class spread across continents and time zones and cultures. I am saddened by the loss of a couple of classmates already – I’m not looking forward to the natural attrition that’s just a fact of life with a graduate program like this.

3.20.2011 I love my classmates! In a program like this you have to be creative and flexible about studying because #1) we’ve all got lives and jobs and families and #2) we live thousands of miles apart! My class is spread out over the globe so we use a variety of study tools – our go-to is Skype – an hour, two hours, three hours with briefs spread out and books open, talking about the current topic and sharing what we understand about it. We also use Facebook, and Facebook chat, and of course email (who knew that would be kind of old-school?).

3.29.2011 It’s time. I’m about 2 days premature on posting this, but I’m ready. I don’t know that it’s going to come as a surprise to anyone since I can’t keep my big mouth shut about how much I’m enjoying this, but here it is. I am loving it, I am overwhelmed and maximized on what I’m able to learn and understand, I have no assurance I can get through this over the next 4 years, and I’m going forward anyway. Every big undertaking involves big commitment and big risk.

Expect more entries regarding this subject, and as always,

Thanks for reading!

March 29, 2011 8

Family

Immediate and extended.

I’ve just come off of few days in Johnson City with daughter Amy on her spring break from ETSU, and a week at home with Glenda on her spring break from UT, and a little family picnic with extended family in Gallatin. I’m thinking this is the electronic version of having to watch someone’s vacation slide show from back in the day. The good news here is that you do NOT have to sit in my living room and pretend to be interested. You can go off and Google something far more interesting and check back later for a more edgy and unsettling post, if that’s what you’re looking for (cuz you know that’s just a matter of time)!

Because this will be all flowers and butterflies. You’ve read here before my gushing about spending time with my kids, and these past two weeks have been no exception. First there was the visit with Amy in Johnson City and meeting her friends and seeing where she works and having coffee and beer (not together) and talking about classes and life, and then there is the week with Glenda, and seeing her friends and watching her work and having coffee and beer (ditto) and talking about classes and life.

Then came the extra bonus of having a little family get-together in Gallatin. A precious cousin I seldom see came in from Oregon for a week visit with her mom, my aunt. We are close in age and were close growing up, but time and space conspire to keep us apart, so we settle for an electronic presence in one another’s lives. But every now and then the universe opens up a little space for us to have a face-to-face, and this week was that time!

Cousin Stephanie, her man Michael, Aunt Annie

We had a little get-together in a park, along with another aunt and more cousins, but Steph in this case was the centerpiece. She’s a damn hippie living a sustainable life out in Oregon, she’s loud and confident and opinionated and smart and I love her. We have a lot in common, and we differ at lot, but that just means we have big enough personalities to accomplish that. I grew up with only brothers, so in a real sense, she was the closest thing I had to a sister. Steph and I were the oldest of the girls cousins; the younger ones we treated like dollies. She and I wrote letters in code, and sent each other word games in the mail, and giggled under the covers at the grandparents when we were supposed to be asleep. I’ve watched her raise her family, and evolve, and travel, and become the complex person she is today.

I really had no intention of this little post being a little love letter to Steph, but sometimes the writing kind of takes over and I just hang on. I had intended on writing about how much all of my family means to me, not just this one special person. But I’ll just let it go at this, and I’ll write about the others as it unfolds.

Beautiful run today, on the property. We have new renters in the little house, the dogs and I encountered them walking around, and their dog and Uga got into a little dust-up, but no one’s the worse. Every tree and plant and flower is having sex, which makes it hard to breathe, but what a gorgeous display they make (does that make all of us voyeurs?)

Thanks for reading!

March 20, 2011 2

Non-controversial

Coming to you live from Maple Street in Johnson City, TN —

This is Amy’s spring break week from ETSU, but in a effort to complete the funding for her upcoming adventure to Thailand, she is working through the week. I took advantage of her time off from school to get in a quick visit, which includes 2 visits on the to and fro with Glenda!

We had a great couple of days together, revolving as it usually does around food, wine, and talk. She’s working at a sushi restaurant, so lucky me, I hung around the sushi bar while she waited tables — entertaining myself with watching her while eating miso soup, salad with ginger dressing, 2 rolls of sushi and Sapporo. The next day we ran errands, shopped for groceries (a college tradition when a parent’s in town), and went to a great pizza place called Scratch. High-funk, BYOB, brick-oven place that features a menu option called: Trust. We went with our own choice because she wanted me to taste certain things; next time we’ll put ourselves in the hands of the be-dreaded crew and go with the Trust option. I also got to hang at the Acoustic Coffeehouse, another high-funk place one and half blocks (read: walking distance) from Amy’s darling house apartment. She’s got more company coming in for the weekend, so I’m grabbing a shower and hitting the road for Knoxville where Glenda is about to begin her spring break.

This past weekend Aden got to spend the weekend and we did the usual: throwing rocks in the pond for about an hour, playing 400 games of UNO (it rained a LOT), and coloring.

To complete the generational bookends, between visits with Aden and the girls, I got to visit with my parents as they made a pass through Middle Tennessee on their way to a motorhome caravan to Civil War sites (my dad is the historian for the group). This is their first trip with their new, upgraded RV (5 feet longer and one slide out more than the old one).