Been stuck on the period after the word Hi for over an hour now.
I’m gonna give up on clever, comforting, wise, insightful. I’m just gonna go with pain, sorrow, and sadness. I don’t think there is anyone who reads this blog who doesn’t know what has happened in our family; Amy’s longtime boyfriend took his life in Knoxville on June 9.
We have grieved beyond words. Each member of our family loved this boy. We had the joy and honor of watching this boy grow up from a teenager into a young man. We love his family. We will miss him every day. He was warm, kind, quirky, gentle, and helpful. He was always up for whatever adventure we would invite him on (and you know the meaning of that in our family).
We have learned the sad lesson about the power of depression. We have reached out to those around us to make sure they know we love them and that we can be counted on for help if they need it. We have worn a groove in our brains trying to figure out why, and if anything could have been done to prevent this. We have embraced his family in a way to comfort them and get closer to him. Amy and I both spoke at his service and were overwhelmed by the community response at his visitation – a tribute to his lovely family.
After all the ceremony, visitation, and logistics, we are now beginning our lives without Bobby. We are finding moments of joy and even now can remember and reflect with laughter. Ragbrai will be tough; Bobby has gone for the past two years. His family has already had a sibling birthday, and Father’s Day. A friend of the family has structured a Facebook page on which we’ve all added videos, photos, and memories of Robert. What a joy to have had this young man in our lives for the past 5 years.
I have lots to blog about – the girls have returned from their academic year in Paris and California, I competed in a sprint tri in Tullahoma, Ben has passed through, the girls and I got to do a little at Bonnaroo (Norah Jones, Avett Bros, John Prine, Stevie Wonder). I’ll try to write and upload pictures in a bit.
Training has been lacking (non-existent for two weeks), but I ran today for the first time. I was not looking forward to it, but I did it on the property, and even in this atrocious heat and humidity, it felt great to be out. Tomorrow is either a ride or a swim, and I’m really excited about it.
My fave iPod shuffle was Sheryl Crow’s I Was Always On Your Side – listen to it.
Thanks for reading.
June 22, 2010 at 10:01 am
And I am always on yours…you continue to be in my heart, thoughts and prayers. I know the grieving process goes on…and on…time and space separate, but only for so long. MUCH LOVE to you and yours. ❤
June 23, 2010 at 10:05 pm
Thank you, sister of my youth. Such sweet kind words…thank you for all your well-wishes!
June 22, 2010 at 12:35 pm
Gail, you and yours have been on my heart a lot lately, and I will continue to pray for you all. There is another song that reminds me of what you’re going through. It’s on Brandi Carlile’s latest release, “Give Up the Ghost.” It’s called “That Year”. God Bless.
June 23, 2010 at 10:09 pm
Thank you Beth…I’ve been thinking a lot about the words we have heard over the past two weeks, and wondering if they would translate into some kind of song or tribute. I’ll pull the song you’ve suggested up on Youtube – thanks for reading and for your sweet words.
June 26, 2010 at 7:03 pm
Well, you certainly have a gift with words. I think songwriting could be a real outlet for you. I enjoy playing around with music and melodies myself. Let me know if you want to collaborate on something. Blessings!
June 28, 2010 at 8:40 pm
Thank you Beth. I’ve been thinking in particular of a phrase on one of the sympathy cards as the beginning of the song, but I have so little to go on I’m not ready to tell you about it yet. I’ll need your help though, after I’ve gotten it kind of thought through!! Thank you for your kind words.
June 22, 2010 at 5:17 pm
I love you, Gayle. You and your ladies. You’re a great writer and a great rock for Amy, Glenda, the Mosses, and the rest of your family. I’m so glad they have you, and that I do too.
June 23, 2010 at 10:16 pm
Precious girl, I love you too. You are so important to all of us. Thank you for your visits and sweet words. We are so looking forward to seeing more of you this summer!
June 22, 2010 at 5:20 pm
Depression and anxiety leave a sucking hole…I’ve felt the power in the vortex of that hole. As you continue to try to move forward know there isn’t a day that you and yours are not in mine and David’s thoughts and prayers. We love you and ache for you…we’d take the mantle of your ache for a time, if we could. We look forward to seeing you on the 10th. David and I ride in the hot and humid Tour de Corn on Saturday in East Prarie, MO. Time to hydrate and pray for a breeze. Hugs, Kisses and More Hugs, Renee
June 23, 2010 at 10:25 pm
My sweet sister — thank you so much for what you said. I know you would help carry the ache if you could. We are looking forward to seeing you on the 10th too! I have a race in Chattanooga the next day, so I don’t know how late we’ll get to stay, but we’re looking forward to our visit! Good wishes for low humidity and a sweet breeze in MO! See you soon!
June 24, 2010 at 9:25 pm
Gayle, I am so, so sorry. Through the pictures and comments about Robert I can tell he was an amazing young man and loved by your family and so many others. I know how bad this hurts. My heart aches for you and Amy and the Moss family. Know that you all have been in my prayers and will remain there.
June 25, 2010 at 12:54 pm
Thank you Amy. I know you know the intensity of what we have been through. Every day brings new memories and challenges, and we’ve leaned heavily on each other through this whole time. He was an exceptional person, and we’re so grateful to have had him in our lives the past five years. Thank you again for your sweet words of comfort!
June 30, 2010 at 9:36 am
Gayle, thank you for these precious words- they brought me comfort. You and your family loved him well, for that I am very thankful. Love ya.